It was Caravaggio’s The Calling of St. Mathew.
The scenarios in my paintings are meticulously choreographed. I spend weeks planning out the particulars- sketching, shopping for specific items, etc.
I paint in a realistic way because that is what I am drawn to. It makes a nice contrast with the subject matter but that was never intentional.
Eating has always been my drug of choice but I have learned, and continue to learn, how to simply feel negative emotions instead of trying to eradicate feelings with food. Painting is not therapy for me. It’s a reflection of my life. When I started with this series my issues with food were not as overwhelming as they had been in my teens and twenties. But compulsive eating was still something that would pop up when I was under stress – even if in a relatively minor way. What I hope my work points people towards is a broader question of how we distract ourselves from the deeper issues that are always at hand and how we can find more constructive ways to seek solace.
The thought of people relating to the subject matter never crossed my mind when I started out with this series. The response that I have gotten from women, and some men, from all over the world has been quite shocking to me.
Yes I am, however, I am not concerned by other interpretations. I want people to bring their own history into what they are seeing. I never set out to say a specific thing. I am putting my own experience up on the wall and I am happy that others would find something of their own experience in it whatever that might be.
A couple of years ago I decided to get a bunch of women to pose for me as subjects but I found I couldn’t paint them. It just did not work and I cannot really explain why. My best work happens when I am not contriving what I am working on – when I use the ideas and images that come to me without questioning them. I don’t always understand the significance of the subject matter at first, but slowly as I continue working on a piece, it becomes clear. This series started that way. I did not have the thought “I am going to make paintings that discuss compulsive eating”. Instead, I happened to be creating a “scene” that had lots of desserts in it. It wasn’t working. I threw the desserts on the floor, lay in them and got a friend to photograph it. I knew I had something of significance to me but, at that point, did not completely understand it.
Feminism simply means advocating for political, social and economic equality for women. Currently there seems to be a strange backlash against the idea of feminism in my own culture. Young women object to or cannot identify with the word feminism. I think this stems both from an insular attitude and a misunderstanding of what feminism means.
We live in a patriarchal society. The laws and religions we live by have been written by men. What else can I say?
Your question puts me in mind of a passage from The Tao of Pooh:
"When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last, "what's the
first thing you say to yourself?"
"What's for breakfast?” said Pooh. "What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" said Piglet. Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.
Adventure is relative. Adventure could be what I decide to eat for breakfast in the morning.